Well as I posted last time I was supposes to start my cleanse I was so pumped and excited wellllll...my special time of the month had to stop by and push me into a further downward spiral.
First of all I have a disorder called Dysmenorrhea, I'll give you the description my doctor gave me when I was 14 years old and diagnosed with it . Basically she said the When the cycle happens it releases something that causes pressure to build on the outside of my uterus instead of inside which causes severe pain and nausea and headaches etc etc. Now I have been living with this since I was 14 years old so about 9 years and they put me on birth control at 14 to reduce the pain(which Helps but not completely) but... I also get massive cravings I feel like a dog that is drooling all over the floor because they smell something they want. So I ended up getting Chinese food, subway and wings throughout the whole weekend to satisfy the cravings.
Last night I was curious what my weight was and I know it was at night and I would get my true weight but I'm glad I did it because the number was way higher then I was thinking and It scared me. I'm so close to 200lbs I wanted to cry so, It is on now and I MEAN IT THIS TIME!!! I cant be that high in weight I just cant!!
So today is halfway over and I'm doing GREATTTT!!!!!!! I had my shake for breakfast and my cucumber's for a snack and my shake for lunch and another snack in a few hours!! I plan to go home and go grocery shopping with my hubby and then go home work out for 1 hour!! Doing my 30 day shred level one video which is 20 min and walking(well speed walking) on the treadmill for 45 mins. I cant do this anymore. My jeans don't fit I feel sick all the time. I know I said this before but that number really scares me and I want to be like my new Idol *Bitch Cakes* she is a real inspiration to me and also I want to know I can do it too and that it is possible.
I get into these funks where I think that I will just always be this way and No matter how hard I try nothing works. Well I realized yesterday that I never tried as hard as I could and I always gave up but not this time 1000% effort!
hi heather, thanks for stopping by my blog.
ReplyDeleteI know it seems so hard in the begining. Trust me when I say it gets easier. The eating, the working out.. everything just seems to fall into place when you have your head in the game. I really think thats what losing weight is.. A big head game!! With a positive attitude and lots of will power you will succeed!!! Its alot of mind over matter. I have been on this journey too many times to count, but decided last July that this is it! No more being the fat girl! I am done with that crap!! soooo almost 45 lbs lighter, I am winning this battle over FAT! you can do it!! Stay strong.. visit lots of blogs to help motivate you along the way!! Keep a food journal, workout everyday and you got this!!!
Best of luck, I will be following!! :)
Robin
http://1girlgettinfit.blogspot.com